Tati’s Journey, Part 5: So, So Ronery
Written by Tati
This is how I feel.
And now I’m going to tell you why.
Today I tried to target vloggers again. Sometimes making connections makes me feel like I’m That Guy on the internet. The one who posts his own memes, the memes that aren’t funny, all over the place, going LOOK AT ME, NOTICE THAT I AM HERE IN YOUR INTERNET PERIPHERIES. Sometimes my heart just isn’t in it. So I tried to go for the vloggers, but I felt kind of weird about it, so I went back to the old feminist communities I know and love and emailed them instead. Like the Awesome Women Of Twitter. I feel like they’d accept me, and understand why I’m emailing them. Know that I really do think they’d like some of my songs. Particularly B.I.G. Breasts, because, aside from the odd person who doesn’t quite realise I’m kidding, and that writer from the guardian who didn’t listen to it and still got really offended, everyone likes that song. Some of the others aren’t always hits, but B.I.G. Breasts is always a crowd pleaser.
But then fear struck. What if the AWOT don’t understand why I’m contacting them? What if none of my beloved feminist bloggers who have no idea who I am even though I know all about their lives (because they blog, duh) do? I don’t know if I can handle that kind of judgement. Am I spam? I don’t want to be spam.
Ultimately, I think today’s journey (as every day is a little journey within the bigger journey) is about unconditional self acceptance, and not giving a hoot if I don’t get any replies, or nice replies, to the friendly emails I send. Well, I have got a few, but only ones that say stuff like ‘sorry, we like what you do, but you’re not relevant to what we do at all’. Whiiiiiin.
I would not last two days in the army.